Dear Future Self

Dear Future Self,

Today was your last day of High School. You were kind of happy and kind of sad.

New beginnings are scary. I don’t know how you are now, but I am definitely scared of everything, especially new beginnings. Ugh. And I wish I wasn’t. I wish I were bold and confident and happy happy happy. But. I’m working on it. Let me know how I do. 🙂

So, perhaps now would be the time to reminicse about what you learned about yourself over the past four years.

How about this. After nearly twenty years on this planet, you have learnt that while being nice to people is important, you are no one’s bitch. And you most definitely don’t have take anyones shit. Sure, sometimes it’s better to not overreact, make rash decisions or insult someone, but you don’t have to just stay quiet and just take it, either. You are your own person and you are entitled to happiness. People shouldn’t use you as their toy or make you do stuff you don’t want to. You are allowed to say NO. You are also allowed to say YES to stuff you like, even if others don’t. It doesn’t matter what they think. You should be happy with yourself.

This makes you a bit of a weirdo. A lot of a weirdo actually. You’re socially awkward and completely fine with just watching and not participating. That’s okay. You’re an introvert. You think people are weird and that’s okay. Sometimes it’s a bit lonely, but let me tell you: You are a fucking awesome person and so creative and funny and weird and wonderful! I love you. Honestly. Please keep on being creative and producing stuff and following your dream and doing what you love. I hope you never ever lose your quirkyness.

You fall in love with everyone. It’s a bit horrible actually. Honestly. How is it even possible to love so many people at once and not having a heart that bursts out of it’s seams? You love them for their quirks, like the guy from your Informatics class who did a tiny victory dance when he did well in an exam, or another guy from that class who always points out funny stuff when he reads, or your table neighbour who is really quiet and doodles the most amazing faces. And you fall in love with pretty strangers. But when you really fall for someone you fall deep and fast. And it’s beautiful. Because you invent your own stories and live a million lives with that person and you are happy even though your love is unrequited. I love that about you. And I love how you’re starting to become more confident. How last Christmas you tried to talk to your crush and even though it failed, you at least tried and after you had done it you knew that he was the one who was missing out, BECAUSE YOU ARE AN AMAZING PERSON and I love you. Dear Future Self, I hope you can still see that!

Most importantly; sometimes you are happy and suddenly you are extremely sad. Like today. Often, I have noticed, other people are what bring about the mood changes. You feel ugly, or unsuccessful or just inadequate in any way. It’s not true. You are pretty and happy and very talented. Admittedly, a bit lazy and an absolute master of procrastination. But nevertheless, don’t let anyone bring you down. If you’re having a good time, continue having a good time and don’t let anyone get you down. Be happy, you deserve it.

Lots of love

xxx

on my way to serendipity